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Thursday, April 2, 2009

just fine and dandy

so... um. well, i found landon's number.


and i held onto it for a few days, debating on whether or not to call him.

then i threw his number away. i said, "fuck it, he's part of my past, let it go, roxy."

but then i fished his number out of the trashcan and dialed it before i could change my mind. 

and then i realized that i still knew his number by heart, because i didn't even look at the paper as i was punching the buttons on my phone.

i was really worried that he didn't have the same number, because i remember that he changed his number, like, three times when we were dating. (i'm not sure why. i think he switched services and they gave him different numbers.)

BUT HE ANSWERED.

"hi," he said.

"hi," i said. 

silence.

"this is roxy," i said.

"i know," he said.

i was surprised, because i hadn't even been smart enough to say, "hi, this is roxy," when he picked up. 

"you do?" i said.

"yeah," he said.

"how?" i said.

"i recognized your voice."

OF COURSE HE DID. i've never been good at recognizing people's voices on the phone. i always have to ask who's calling, if caller id doesn't show it.

"um," i say, because i'm just that articulate.

he laughs. "what's up? it's been a while."

"yeah."

looking back, i'm thinking this must be the worst case of nerves EVER. if there's one thing i can do, it's talk (ask anyone who knows me), and i've never been a shy kid or stricken dumb with stage fright. yet there i was, acting like my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth with peanut butter. (why does peanut butter do that, anyway?)

"how have you been?" he says.

"pretty good," i say. "you?"

"not bad."

and we're silent again. i used to spend HOURS talking to this guy... online, in person, on the phone... and now we have nothing to say to each other?

"you know, it's weird that you call," he says. "i was just thinking about you."

"really?" i say.

i have a feeling that he's lying to make me feel better or something.

"all good things, i hope," i continue.

he laughs. "you know i always think good things about you, z."

and then i felt better.

landon has always had a million nicknames for me: rox (which, surprisingly, very few people ever call me), x (for the x in my name), z (because the "xy" tends to be pronounced like a z), ro (either short for rock on or like row, row, row your boat), RJ (my first and middle initals), JC (my middle and last initials), RC (first and last), etc. 

well, long story short, we talked for a while and one thing led to another and we're going out on saturday. to starbucks, around noon or something. 

i'm kind of chipper right now. :)

roxy.

8 lovers & haters:

They Just Call Her Helen said...

Oh God, I hate talking on the phone because it brings out my stammer and I say um or uhuh way too much because they're the only things not affected by my nerves, lol.

At least you got past that and are now going to meet him.

Hope you have fun (and write a blog to let us know how it went)

X

Alayna Whisper said...

bahaha, well that's good. =] I think...lol

Annie said...

That's good; have fun at starbucks! (:

N a t a l i e. said...

I hate it when you're on the phone and you just have no idea what to talk about. Then there's just an awkward silence before one person makes up an excuse to hang up. But Landon sounds like he was really nice and understanding.

But yeees, that is awesome! :D You took a risk and it definitely paid off. I hope you have an awesome time at Starbucks :D

N a t a l i e. said...

PS- I wish I had more nicknames! THe only way to make my name shorter is Nat. My health teacher calls me that... unfortunately there is already a male named Nat in the grade, and a bunch of Matts, so it gets confusing XP

Lonely Heart said...

Awkward conversations are the worst. I never know what to say, and I don't wantto sound dumb just rambling about something to fill the silence.

See, I wish people would call me by my nicknames...I don't have them for no reason.

Cait said...

Hey, thanks for the note. Its good to hear from you. Great post too. Glad things went better than expected with Landon. I like his name..but I think of the singer Landon Pigg. (couldn't he have changed his last name?)..here in the mid-west Logan is a popular guy name thanks to Omaha Chief Logan Fontennel...who died a gruesome death by the Lakota-Sioux on a Buffalo hunt. OK..enough history. Have a fantastic weekend.

Lonely Heart said...

Tag you're it!