Friday, February 27, 2009

guess this means you're sorry

you're standing at my door.
guess this means you take back all you said before.

i am currently in possession of a tiny little kitty.

well, kitten.

compliments of jake, actually.

i was expecting alan to come over (and he left like five minutes ago) and when i heard the doorbell ring, i thought it was him.

but no, it's jake, holding a squirming little bundle.

"it's for you," he says, and basically leaves.

god, this cat is adorable. she (i assume it's a she -- jake didn't think to tell me its gender, apparently)'s got black and white splotches all over, with a few gray ones thrown in. she looks like a rorschach test in cat form.

so i'm like, shit, kitty, you are just the cutest thing... unfortunately for me, what am i going to do when nature calls? or you get hungry? i mean, we've got plenty of milk, but not, like, tuna or anything... (that ran out on the old cat)... fortunately for all of us, for some reason, my mom never got rid of the cat bed and litter box.

and then alan knocks at the back door (which he usually does, so i'm not sure why i thought he'd try coming through the front) and he's holding a bag of cat food and a bag of kitty litter.

and i get suspicious, like, maybe this was all some sort of scheme the two of them had cooked up... then he asks, "what's with the cat stuff--" and then he sees the cat i'm holding. kitten. this is a tiny, tiny cat -- and he's like, "oh."

i ask him if he had anything to do with this, and he says no. i believe him, but, well...

ah, i'm not going to complain. i was kind of wanting another kitty.

i really need to get ahold of jake to find out the cat's gender and if it's had its shots and stuff. otherwise, it will be bye bye, kitty.

although... i mean, what would be the point of giving me a cat that needs to be fixed? that's just stupid.

GOD THIS CAT IS SO CUTE. she (i'm going to refer to it as she unless i discover differently) seems to find my typing fingers fascinating and alternately stares at them intensely or swipes them with her tiny paws.

she seems to be declawed, so i assume she's fixed. maybe.


i need help naming this cat... any ideas, people? because i am fully drawing a blank here.

thanks muchly.


because we belong together now, yeah
forever united here somehow, yeah
you got a piece of me
and honestly
my life would suck without you

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

boom boom boom

i've been tagged by the fabulous jemima
who also gave me the award below.
THANK YOU. I feel special.
go read her blog. it's very whimsical and awesome in general.

The rules of this blogging award are to:
1. Link the blog who gave you this award.
2. Give the award to seven other bloggers and link them.
3. Tell them that you have given them an award.

i, roxy motion, award the following seven:

1. wandering child
2. cady cep
3. alayna whisper
4. nicole linette
5. pooks
6. skippy
7. helen

now, time for the 4x4 tag.

Places I go over and over...

1. school. just about every day, there i am.

2. the hill. pretty obvious... a grass carpeting a big mound of dirt.

3. blogspot. what can i say... blogs are interesting.

4. lalaland... more commonly known as the space roxy goes in her head when she kind of spaces out... maybe roxyland is a better term....

People who e-mail me regularly:

1. Cambria with all her stupid chain emails... there's a reason i don't pass those on, you know.

2. blogger to tell me i have new comments!! :)

3. twitter

4. IMVU.

Favorite Smells:

1. lip gloss... especially the fruity kind. i'm such a lip gloss whore.

2. britney spears's "curious" perfume.

3. cookies baking. nothing better.

4. roses and jasmine.

Places I Would Rather Be:

1. california.

2. with alan on the hill. or maybe with jake.

3. seventh grade history.

4. on television.

TV Shows I Watch:

1. how i met your mother

2. the loop (bring this show back!)

3. 30 rock

4. friends

The Fourth Picture From My Folder

i'm just going to do what jemima did and give the 4x4 to everyone i awarded the award to. lol.


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

the best you could hope to be

i'm really not in the proper frame of mind to write this post, because i'm kind of upbeat and hyper right now and a lot of shit has gone down this week.

on a completely unrelated note:

you know how there are some subjects you just never think about until somebody brings them up. because, as a general rule, you don't sit around wondering if your parents ever feel underappreciated (or whatever), unless it's mothers day or something like that and then you're obligated. anyhow, when someone does bring up the subject, it's like an obnoxious gnat determined to investigate the black hole that is your ear and won't shut up or die. because gnats are too tiny to kill, the bitches. and then, with that subject gnat bugging you, you feel guilty. 

which is annoying.

okay, i'm in the right frame of mind now.

so, we all know the end of the j&k saga... they're done, over, toast, kaput, yada yada, and we're all acting like retarded idiots, yada yada (except jade... aka the only sane one, who isn't technically ONE, but hey)...

jake and i have been hanging out a lot lately. which is really cutting into my time with alan. i wish cambria wasn't with christian so the three of us could be together again and she could listen to him whine while i watch how i met your mother or whatever. but if she and christian broke up, i'd be stuck with two whiny bitches instead of one. i don't know who kira is whining to, but it's not me, which is good, because i'm sick of being in the middle.

so... uh... well, last night, jake and i went out on the hill and hung out for a while there. and we almost wound up kissing several times. the first time, i sort of freaked and was like, "holy shit, this grass is cold" ... even though i'd been sitting on it for the past couple of hours. stupid, roxy, stupid... the second time was my doing (brain spasm, like well, i screwed it up the first time, maybe the second time will work) and he's like, "wow, your eyes kind of look like kira's... oh, shit... i mean, ah, wow. how's that story coming?" 

(i had to write a story for lit class... long story short, i suck at writing, like, majorly. i got jade to help me by bribing her with jelly beans. i know her achilles heel. ;) )

third time i'm not sure who started it, but then i was like, "oh, hey, you know, i never gave you your notebook back" and he's like, "oh, yeah, right. i need that"... the fourth time, well, i kind of grabbed him and kissed him on the cheek (yeah, i know, i know) and basically walked home without saying anything.

i even cried a little, although i'm not really sure why.

my mother met me at the back door as i was coming in and she's all, "have a nice time with jake? it's good that you two are hanging out again"... and i just said, "yeah, sure, mom" and went upstairs. it's just too depressing. and all i really wanted to do was sleep.

today was okay. i thought it was going to be awkward or something, but apparently debate team (which jake is on) had to have an emergency meeting and jake wasn't at lunch or anything, and everything else was pretty standard.

i'm still wondering if kira is/was pregnant.

and i didn't know i was such a... chicken. or a prude, i guess. really. it's embarrassing. but... i don't know. i'm kind of... naive, in a way, that i want everything to stay like it was a few years ago. or even before 2008. gah.

but i don't want to be the rebound girl. i don't think jake's like that, exactly, but you never know what people will do... and i mean, i don't want to ruin our friendship, or anything.

i'm not sure how i feel about the whole friends with benefits thing, either. especially with him fresh off a breakup.


i guess it means something that i'm the one he's coming to to whine about the breakup. maybe.


btw: it was fun talking to you tonight. you know who you are. :)

Thursday, February 12, 2009


my current favorite song combination is "upside down" by a*teens and "w.a.m.s." by fall out boy. fun stuff.

j&k are no longer j&k. we're all acting like nothing happened. 

but there is obvious tension... i mean, how could there not be? and then, just when everything is semi-normal for, like, half a second, someone makes some thoughtless remark and BAM! instant tension again.

and then today alan's like, "so, jake, how about going out with roxy?"

i felt my freaking BLOOD freeze. i wanted to strangle alan with the fringe on cambria's stupid jacket (today she was wearing this awful brown leather jacket with fringe all over it... and matching cowboy boots... UGLY BEYOND BELIEF.)... and then jake decides to play along and goes, "sure, rox, how about it?"

(i'm sitting between alan (on my left) and jake (on my right) at the picnic table outside... alan's across from kira, i'm across from christian, and jake's across from cambria...... just so you have a better visual)

and drapes his arm around me like he's serious. but i can see his eyes look sad.

and anyway... so, i completely lost my mind and said:

"what? no. are you gay?"

and everyone laughed like it was funnier than a coach hines skit from madtv (and that shit is HILARIOUS --- i've spent the evening watching it on youtube).

it's really hard to know what the old roxy would have done. i mean, we all know i used to be jealous of j&k's relationship (and that's putting it mildly). 

but i'm reading waaaaay too much into this. IT WAS A JOKE.

grrr. this is so ANNOYING. maybe i do still like jake like that.

so now i'm watching how i met your mother. i've seen every episode of that show twice... now 3 times, i guess. 

UGH. mandy just got out of the shower and now the whole upstairs REEKS of her shower gel. it's amazing that we don't go broke buying her grooming products. she uses like half a bottle of shampoo every time she takes a shower. 

and now the upstairs is going to smell like dead strawberries for the next couple of hours. i just might die.

thank god tomorrow is friday. i have no plans for the weekend or anything, so i guess i'll sleep in or something. 

right now all i have to do is school, and i like having plenty of unstructured time.

everyone said junior year was going to be so hard academically. so far, that isn't true. no harder than sophomore or freshman year, anyway.

also, my earliest posts (like from july) really annoy me. they were so... i don't know. i like to think i've matured since then, but you can never really tell about those sorts of things.


Monday, February 2, 2009

feeling like a blog whore

when's the last time i posted so much? never. that's when.

today robby saw mandy kissing the kid who lives down the street and (literally) ran crying to my mother. screaming, too.

he is eight, after all.

mandy is also eight. and the kid she kissed is like twelve. 

-cue collective EW from everyone reading-

according to robby, they kissed a lot. or something. i'm reasonably certain he didn't hang around long enough to find out.

so, now, my mother has been explaining things to mandy about sexuality. my poor mother is incredibly uncomfortable. mandy is bored. 

it's kind of funny, yet weird. i grew up in the 90s and all... and i got my first kiss when i was 13. i grew up playing with the boys next door (because there was no one else around), and so i really didn't think of boys any differently than girls. and it's only been since last year that i developed a crush on jake. which i'm not entirely sure i still have. but still.

we don't even talk all that much anymore... despite that i'm around him kind of a lot. it's like being friends with a stranger. if that makes sense. and it makes me sad. 

and cambria: stop reading my blog without leaving comments and then dropping hints to me later about what you read. it's annoying. LEAVE A COMMENT, HALFER. luvu. :)

off to do more homework. not only am i turning into a blog whore, i'm also turning into a nerd. crap.