Wednesday, October 15, 2008

i've got troubled thoughts and the self-esteem to match

so i downloaded "what a catch, donnie" today.

it is one of the saddest songs i've ever heard. i mean, it actually made me cry.

miss flack said "i still want you back"
i've got troubled thoughts
and the self-esteem to match
what a catch



so i got this assignment in writing class today...... i have to write a (short) romantic story.

now, i suck at writing stories to begin with (mostly because i can't describe things very well), and romantic stories are even worse.

like, i can't write about sexual stuff like some people can..... it's just unnatural for me.

i mean, a normal kissing scene is fairly descriptive.

a kissing scen written by me contains only a few words.


they kissed.
he kissed her.
she kissed him.

the end.

i mean, geez. what else do you want me to say?

cambria is so good at this stuff. i'm not sure why. i'm jealous.

like, i can't even write DIALOGUE. it comes off like a conversation between nervous people who hate each other or something.

like...... i don't know. it's just weird for me. i can't do it.

but i'll give it the old college try, as they say.

once upon a time there lived a boy and a girl. they lived in the same town and attended the same school. one day they decided to go out. so they decided they really liked dating and became boyfriend and girlfriend and made out in public all the time. they got married after they graduated and had seven children and lived happily ever after. the end.

alternate ending:
one day the girl caught the boy making out with another girl so she broke up with him and went home and slit her wrists and died. the boy married the other girl and lived happily ever after. the end.

there are more possible alternate endings.

but the point is, the story fucking sucks.

i hate writing.

it's not that i can't come up with a basic story EXACTLY. (although i admittedly took some parts of that story from my real life. if you've been a reader of mine for a while you know what i mean.) it's that i can't turn a stick figure into a portrait, if you catch my drift. like, i can't take that basic story (if i were to use it, which i'm not going to) and add pizzazz to it. (it's 1000ish words. oh, and it's due monday.)


i wonder why my hands are so cold. i mean, my laptop is hot.

but yeah..... those are the only important things that happened today.

and erik and i have been texting again. i can't tell if he and joolz are broken up or not. he's being very vague (deliberately, i bet).

i wish i cared. but i don't.

this is what comes of feeling so sorry for yourself.

and i talked to cambria about volunteering. she says all i have to do is show up about an hour before their doors are supposed to open and i'm golden.

oh yeah. and we have officially joined cambria's church.

i think i might go hang myself.

if my parents HAD to get religious, why couldn't they have gotten a more.... i don't know. MODERN religion? it's just so blah.

maybe if i volunteer my parents will let me out of church. i would fully love that.

i mean, god understands. he knows that the sermons aren't doing me any good anyway. or anyone else, for that matter.

i sound like i'm trying to rationalize this away.

and i'm going to end this post before i write something genuinely insane.


12 lovers & haters:

just Ivy said...

Good luck on the story..just uh, show them kissing...instead of telling us they know how they kissed..or came in Nick & Nora.."Can you be my boyfriend for 5 minutes.." even in the book it was the other way around.

Of course, my all time favorite book about well, guys and girls getting together is Doing It.

good luck. keep those hands warm.

gossip guy

another.ellie said...

Wow..I never got to write a romantic story for a class. Lucky you, although, I'm not a big fan of "romance". Modern romance is just too self absorbed. Still I like a good "relationship" story..hopefully, on can learn about one's self. Favorites of mine is Graham Greene's end of the affair..which actually the man who has fallen for this woman has fallen into as much hate for her and becomes best friends with her husband. I loved the way that book was written. The author who wrote Ripley's game has such amazing short story selection..and you can see her views change through the decades. The creepiest story was one from the early 40's where this little girl's mother actually thinks its great for the grown man to give her a ride. It was so freaky and sad. And today I saw Living Dead Girl at the lib. It looks so intense about this girl who's been abducted by this man when she was 10 now she's 15 and she knows he plans to kill her.

Cait said...

Thanks for the comment.

Well, hopefully, you'll find something at church you like. I don't know if volunteering constantly is the key. They take you for granted then. Just make sure its something you have a passion, drama, kids.

Lots of opportunities though.

Good luck.

Oh..and thanks so much for reading blue hearts.

*jemima* said...

Writing romantic scenes is tricky, so maybe just try different angles without being gratitious or corny about it.
As you say, saying someone kissed someone, can only be said three ways as you pointed out.
Unless someone develops another word for kissing that is not slang or something. :D

Anonymous said...

Just remember nothing destroys a story faster than a bad analogy. And a plot that goes no where. Remember, it all should be leading up to some momentous event. Not, they met, they kissed, they lived happily ever after.

--Emilyyy-- said...

I hate writing too.
Good luck though.

P.S. Just Ivy: I love that book too. It's very discriptive :P

They Just Call Her Helen said...

Thanks for the comment

And good luck writing that romance!

I can promise it's easy when you give it ago!

Or try reading some examples first. That always helps me :)


Sydney Speel said...


my friends and i say motherplucker.

pookieface=] said...

omg. for my la class we have to write a short horror story like edgar allan poes tell tale heart- which we just read. see, my problem with writing is that i go into waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much detail. like if i have to summarise a chapter in a book and im supposed to write like 5 sent, it comes out as like 10 or 15 loooooooong sentences.

good luck with erik!!!!

just Ivy said...

Did the sad song inspire your story, any..thanks for the comment.

gossip guy

Cady said...

4x4 tag.

Anonymous said...

ooo. I love that "What a Catch, Donnie" song. it's so beautiful.