Monday, September 29, 2008

oh donna won't you pick me up tomorrow

i miss carley.

we talked earlier today and she told me she got her pink streaks dyed blue. i am so fucking jealous. i want blue in my hair, too. or maybe green. i think green would look cool with the pink.... idk. whatever. this pink is holding up remarkably well (god love my stylist), so overall i'm pretty happy.

thanks for all the comments, people.


at lunch today i went outside (it was a gorgeous day) and sat on the picnic tables on the back lot..... because all J&K do at lunch is full frontal snogging, as the british say, and all C&C do is feed each other. it's sickening. so i ate with alan. we've been talking a lot lately. it makes me feel vaguely guilty about what i said back when the lesbian rumor was circulating, because alan is really very nice and i see him as a friend now. so, the funny thing is, although i usually make my own lunch (yes, i'm lame like that, but i'm a picky eater so i have to prepare meals exactly how i like them), today mom was feeling particularly motherly and she made lunches for the three of us. sooo there was a peanut butter/mayo sandwich and cucumbers on the side.

I HATE PB/M. if they serve food in hell, that is it.

the cucumber slices were basically okay.

anyway. so, before i knew what i was doing, i stood up and growled in utter agony,


and then i threw the offending sandwich against a tree and sat back down.

then i realized what i did.

so i was like "motherfuckerrrrrrrr" and then alan's like, "so, you're in drama, right?" like it was no big deal. which it wasn't, of course. but still. it's vaguely embarrassing.

why does bending your nail backwards hurt so bad? i just did it and it really hurt, although it doesn't hurt anymore, but i'm still holding my finger like i just broke it. freak that i am.

stupid mrs. k in drama club. she keeps telling me to SMILE onstage. dude. we are doing a DRAMA. there is no need for me to smile. and then she tells my mom who picked me up after school friday that i lack confidence. motherfuckingfucker. oooo that made me mad. i am totally confident. at least i think i am. or something like that. whatever. the point is, i am not a shy person onstage or off. i just am not a very smiley person.

i hate cough drops. i just ate one and now my tongue feels all itchy and tingly. it's not a good feeling.

i'm going to go start my homework and find a snack or something. peace.


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

goodbye ruby tuesday

i like wednesdays. you never hear anything bad about wednesdays. they have a history of being good days. plus, the week is half over, so glory freakin' hallelujah.


today was good. being a wednesday and all. and it was better because kira had a doctor's appointment then a dentist appointment, so she wasn't at school today. and i had jake all to myself like i used to.

and that was REALLY AMAZING because that very thing happened last week. except she was out with her parents. but still.

jake's hair is growing out and right now he's got that whole gerard way thing going on. it looks smexy on him.

i actually told him that. he just laughed.

because, you know. i'm his best girl friend (suck it up, cambria, i knew him first) and i can say stuff like that and get away with it because it doesn't mean anything.

or something like that.

sooo apparently i'm not a lesbian anymore. which is good. fucking nicole (i can't speak of that girl without saying the word fucking before her name) decided to aim her guns at someone else. not that i'm complaining. i never heard of this person until she started some random rumor mill. and the funny thing is, all rumors die down once she shuts the fuck up.

yeah. my school is gay, and not homosexually.

right now i laughed because jake's iming me, and he's complaining about how hard his math homework is. (we're in the same class, so i had the same work.) so right now i'm laughing at him because it literally took me ten minutes. maybe even less.

usually i don't laugh, but he really deserves it for this whole kira thing. and besides. it's aim. he can't see me.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

"I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend."

Friday, September 12, 2008

Grand Theft Autumn - Fall Out Boy.

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Maybe he won't find out what I know
You were the last good thing about this part of town
When I wake up
I'm willing to take my chances on
The hope I forget
That you hate him more than you notice
I wrote this for you
(for you, so...)
You need him
I could be him
I could be an accident but I'm still trying
That's more than I can say for him
Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Maybe he won't find out what I know
You were the last good thing about this part of town
Someday I'll appreciate in value
Get off my ass and call you
But in the meantime I'll sport my brand new fashion
Of waking up with pants on at 4:00 in the afternoon
You need him
I could be him
I could be an accident but I'm still trying
That's more than I can say for him
Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Maybe he won't find out what I know
You were the last good thing about this part of town
(won't find out)
He won't find out
(won't find out)
He won't find out
Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Maybe he won't find out what I know
You were the last good thing about this part of town
Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
(he won't find out)
Maybe he won't find out what I know
You were the last good thing about this part of town

kind of how i feel right now. soo yeah.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

uh uh uh

sooo i'm pretty happy right now.

kira had to go to the next town for the day with her parents for whatever reason, and i had jake all to myself again. it was like old times.

oh and erik decided to start texting me again. he hasn't texted me in weeks.

one of the things i like about myself is that i somehow manage to get my homework done really quickly. when i was in middle school i was always calling jake and cambria to ask if they got their homework done now? how about now? GOD, HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO SPEND ON IT?

but you know. it's how i roll. i race through everything.

thanks to everyone who took the time to make me un-bored.

wow, posts two days in a row. cool.


Tuesday, September 9, 2008



aim or msn. haha. it's all i have.

but the aim is roxymotion and the msn is

thanks for replying though. =]

Oh, my . . .


alan called me tonight. just to chat, apparently. but it was fun. he's nicer than I thought.

i should do this more often. this whole blogging thing is good.

if anyone has AIM, im me. i am so bored right now.

Aim = roxymotion

I don't care what you think as long as it's about me

Woot! The new fall out boy song is on itunes!

yes. i am in love with that song.


thank you so much to all my wonderful readers! you're the best.

i fucking hate school.

it's not really my classes, because my teachers are pretty okay. it's the people.

fucking nicole started a rumor that i am a lesbian, because i guess she saw me talking to whitney, who IS a lesbian. i mean, really. i have to associate with whitney because we're both in this drama class AND the drama club. but she's a good person.

i could have ignored that if christine (who is probably the biggest lesbian in the school) hadn't started asking me out.

"hey roxy. i heard you're a lesbian. want to go out sometime?"

i swear to god, she literally said that to me.

so i said, "i'm not a lesbian."

she says, "well, the whole school says you are."

i say, "no, they do not. nicole just started that rumor to be the fucking bitch she is."

she says, "whatever. bye."

and then a couple of days later, she does it again.


and hanging out with jake and cambria (and their respective partners) is hard, because not only am i a fifth wheel, i'm a desperate lesbian who's in love with my best friend, who keeps shunning my advances.

so, for the past several days, i've been telling everyone to fuck off.

some motherfucker told my MOM that i'm gay, and she tried to talk to me about it ("it doesn't matter, honey, we'll always love you, blah blah blah") and before i realized what i was saying, i said:


to my MOM, of all people.

and then i started crying.

which is pretty rare, for me. i'm not big on crying.

soooo, to make a long story short, i apologized to my mom and somehow the whole goddamn story came out, like i'm a seventh grader again and i tell my mom everything.

sooo she treats me like a seventh grader and gives me all the useless advice they teach moms to say at mom school:

"just ignore them!"

"they're just jealous of you, honey!"

"just walk away."

"remember, what goes around, comes around."

yeah, i know. karma is a bitch. but why is it so bitchy to me so often?

oh, yeah. i forgot to say that yes, kira does go to my school.

so i get to see their pda-fest every second of the day.


oh, and i think c & c finally kissed. woo. how cute is the fact that they're all shy and holding hands? why don't you just go move to an amish colony or whatever they're called?

i've been avoiding them as much as i can, which isn't much, because, between the four of them, they always manage to find me. i need to get a place. you know, like a secret place that most people don't know about and where nobody would think to look for me.

in other news, alan, who is probably the most popular guy on campus, is my lab partner. he is hot, i must admit (still not as hot as jake or even erik), and he's quarterback and dated a cheerleader and all that jazz . . . he's also in a band and likes art. so he's weird. but he's also pretty nice. and i think he might like me. he's also single. which is good. now i just need to make out with him in a public place so i get my heterosexual status back.

or maybe that would backfire.

oh god. i am the most selfish person alive.

i think i should probably post here more just so i get everything sorted out in my own head. guh.